Hard Seat HELL

Instead of following the rest of the gang to Tiger Leaping Gorge, I headed off to Chengdu. This involved an 8 hour bus trip, followed straight up with a 14 hour train trip. I was feeling particularly brave this day and thought that it'd all be okay as long as I have a hard sleeper at the end. Off I set on my journey with one of the gang, Walid. The bus trip was beautiful and the mountain views were amazing. Only the toilet stops were a bit hairy. They consited of open pits, with open cubicals, in a very open area. I have lost all humility these days and bearing my white and pink bits to the community is all in a days work. It's the pungent stench that always renders me usless and sick.
As we sailed through the mountains we came to a town that resembled something closer to Grand Central Station, rather than a town. It was congested with all types of Passenger vehicles. People were spilling from pick-ups, buses and trucks. The noise was defening as horns blew and people screamed to be heard. It seemed as though there was traffic jams at every piont. There was not one bit of road to be seen from the sheer volume of cars and people. I thought that we'd be stuck there for days but after a half hour of defening noise and choking fumes, we were through. Back on the road and in clear, clean air.
We arrived at the city where we had to change to the train. This place was grim, in that it was more a mining town than anything. The air was thick with pollution and the buildings grey with dust. As we got ourselves off one bus we were pushed on to another. Apparently this one took us to the train station. Along the way we adopted Sonia, a spanish girl, who seemed not so intersted in a conversation with me but prefered Walid. I was rather prefering a taxi to the bus, as we had all our packs and the public bus was taking forever. I also had a bladder that was about to explode it was so full! Not soon enough we arrived at the station. In typical Chinese style, I was pushed and shoved as people tried to get past me and my encumbering pack. After 8 hours on a bus this does not make an amused Lizzy.
Safe in the hall of the booking office at the train station, Walid took control. Not the wisest choice, since his English is very poor and his Chinese worse. Eventually he appeared with three tickets for a hard seat! What!? Never send a man to do a womans work! Apparently the sleepers were all booked up due to students returning to Uni after holidays. What Walid didn't realise is, that you can get an up grade ticket on the train but you need them to issue you with an upgrade voucher when you first buy your original one...Got it? So, we had no up grade and was stuck with a hard seat!
Off we all go for a bite to eat before we get on the train. At this piont I was a little tired and a bit grumpy and walking for hours to find a meal was not what I was looking forward to. Sonia, however, seemd to be set on the fact that there was a great restaurant up a monster flight of stairs. We got our meal, which was revolting, and I was looking forward to a bit of quite time. Sonia, however, talked and talk and talked. When she was lost for an English word she asked me. When I gave her the answer she said I was wrong...excuse me...Aren't I the one that's been speaking English for THE PAST 30 YEARS! This was my cue to leave before I killed the little Spanish Bitch. I left organising to meet them before boarding the train.
An hour later and I was still waiting in the entrance hall....No Walid and Sonia. I headed for the train myself, knowing that they close the platform 20 minutes before the train is due to leave. Well. The carriage was the one closet to the engine. There wasn't actually any platfrom for me to get myself on to the train. I had to haul myself, my two bags and a big bottle of water in to the carriage. All well and good if you are tall but the first step was closer to my boobs than my ankels and I had to perform some type of yoga to get up there! All whilst a crowd of on lookers sniggered!
Oh My God! On the train there was about 400 people, all with luggage enough to sink the Titanic. I was positive there weren't even enough seat for us all and it was hotter than the pits of hell. Still no Walid and Sonia. Eventually after extracting 3 grubby farmers from my seat, the police paid me a visit. They were concerned that me sitting near the window would be a hazard for me and my bags saftey. Perhaps someone would rob me from the open window in the middle of the night. I assured them that I would be fine and explained I would be joined by fellow Western travellers. Also I was close to oxygen and up against the window. Some where to lay my head at least. They wanted to squeeze me between two grubby, seedy looking Chinese men and I can assure you I was safer where I was! At this piont I was still waiting for Walid and Sonia and the prospect of them not getting on the train was actually comforting. Sonia seemed like a real cow and not too keen on me either. To no avail. They showed up in the nick of time. Bugger!
On the tracks and away we went. I felt like the invisible man. Sonia and Walid were entranced in some kind of mateing ritual and I was completely ignored. Their broken and bad English only made the situation even more unbareable and painful. At one piont there was some rediculous converstation about a butterfly and life and death and family. Really people...Just say...I like you!
A student finally approched and saved me from having to endure anymore pitiful conversation. His topic was war and why do we think the Japanese and Americans invaded China? My response was that we can't comment on a war we weren't born for or had any part in. Well, Miss Bitchy britches said that the Americans were idiots because they voted Bush twice and people were being killed in South America. When I said, well That actually wasn't my piont, She went ballistic and accused me of being rude and not listening. Well good natured as I can be I told her to F**k off and She was f**king rude. She hadn't even bothered to ask my name and include me in conversation. Even to the piont of asking Walid to talk in French! Then she said "What language do you speak?" When I said English, She said I was stupid because I only spoke one language and I couldn't even do that properly! This coming from a woman who said Fiveteen instead of Fifteen! Conversation ended with me telling her if she bothered to speak to me again it better be to tell me that she was taking her last breath.Walid was completely unaware of all this and was a little bewilleded by the tension.
So on the night went and each minute seemed like an eternity. By about 11 pm Walid was complaining about stomach cramps. This had happened a few nights before, so I wasn't too concerned. After a few more hours it seemd that the pain was getting worse and he was carring on like typical man. So I called for a Dr. Eventually the train Dr arrived and we tried to get some sense out of Walid. In his dribbling English and man way of dealing with pain, it took some time to get any information. Finally after what seemed like eternity and more painful for me than Walid (I had to listen to it) the Doc decided it was his apendix. Everyone was relocated from the seat, except for us and one Chinses speaking kid, so Walid could lay down. I took this opportunity to get some sleep. I was woken at three by a comotion and it was Walid whailing like a banshee. Apparently the pain was unimaginable and apparently unexplainable in English. Only gibbering like an idiot. So off the train he went. With Miss Spanish bitch hot at his heels. Well, until he told her to stay in the train and he'd see us both later. Bugger again! I had no interest in following him. Bad I know but sometimes on the road you need to be selfish...especially when they treat you like your invisible.
I continued on my way to Chengdu with Spanish Bitch sleeping on my shoulder.